Here we go again, folks! It’s more Bad Fortune Cookies from last year.
Okay, so … let’s do this! 🙂
August 2020
8/1/2020 #214 Do not be afraid of competition. I would avoid scorpions, though.
8/2/2020 #215 Simplify and clarify should be your theme in dress. Assuming you wear a dress.
8/3/2020 #216 There is no wisdom greater than kindness. So quit being such a dick, okay?
8/4/2020 #217 You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home. At some point, I guess.
8/5/2020 #218 To give happiness is to deserve happiness. But we don’t always get what we deserve, do we?
8/6/2020 #219 Listen not to vain words of empty tongue. Or empty words of a veined tongue.
8/7/2020 #220 If you had your life to live over again, you’d need more money. I can’t do that, and I still need more money.
8/8/2020 #221 A faithful friend is a strong defense. Unless you’re fighting above your weight class.
8/9/2020 #222 Be careful! Straight trees often have crooked roots. I’m not sure it’s the trees we need to worry about.
8/10/2020 #223 Pardon is the choicest flower of victory. I was obviously drunk when I wrote that.
8/11/2020 #224 Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise. I’m such a fool, but pay no attention to me.
8/12/2020 #225 You achieve great peace of mind when you talk with an old friend. If they’re much older, they’ll most likely die first.
8/13/2020 #226 Your present plans are going to succeed. With or without you.
8/14/2020 #227 He who hurries cannot walk with dignity. At least, not at the same time.
8/15/2020 #228 The current year will bring you much happiness. I wonder what year that was written.
8/16/2020 #229 A liar is not believed even though he tell the truth. And a badly-written sentence tends to make one look like an idiot.
8/17/2020 #230 In God we trust; all others must pay cash. I’ll accept whatever you got, other than bitcoin.
8/18/2020 #231 You are an exciting and inspiring person. I won’t go into exactly what it is you excite or inspire.
8/19/2020 #232 You are next in line for promotion in your firm. Unfortunately, you aren’t next in line for a raise.
8/20/2020 #233 A friend is a present you give yourself. This makes the third time I’ve given this fortune, so I’m sorry for my lack of imagination.
8/21/2020 #234 You are in for an enlightening experience. Not necessarily a pleasant one, but very, very enlightening.
8/22/2020 #235 Your cheerful outlook is one of your assets. Smile all you want, but it won’t pay the bills.
8/23/2020 #236 Good news will come to you by mail. Marked “Return to Sender: Unable to deliver”.
8/24/2020 #237 A good home is happiness. And, according to the Beatles, happiness is a warm gun.
8/25/2020 #238 Touch base with an old friend who has important information. I’m not sure which old friend has this information, so good luck with that.
8/26/2020 #239 Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you. At some point, eventually.
8/27/2020 #240 What’s vice today may be virtue tomorrow. The more things change, the more these fortunes stay the same.
8/28/2020 #241 Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you. I can’t believe anyone wrote such a meaningless fortune.
8/29/2020 #242 You can’t ride in all directions at one time. It’ll tear you apart—literally.
8/30/2020 #243 Good news will be brought to you by mail. Assuming we keep the postal service functioning.
8/31/2020 #244 You would make a good lawyer. I’m not at all sure that’s such a great fortune.
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On that last one? Believe me, I should know. 🙂
Random and Sundry Things 